Sorry about your chicken, Lyra. =(

I read "Truelove Fight" and was inspired by this:

The devil was using its unhole powers

And made something absolutely stupid.

Thanks, Niccoletta. That picture made me laugh.

I might snark Chapter 4 tomorrow, since Erin seems to not care to made amends. Too worn out to do it today. I'll finish the TV Tropes page, too.

EDIT: TV Tropes is caught up! Let me know of any tropes on the previous pages I missed.

Ugh why won't Erin update?! I need the lulz TT_TT [/baaawfest]

Lyra Kumatora wrote:Sorry, I am in a crappy mood, one of my favorite chickens I raised from a baby just died.

I'm so sorry to hear that. =( Losing any pet is tough, even if they're old and had good long lives. *hugs*

^Thanks. I feel better today.

Erin was on one time since I sent my initial letter, but did nothing, not even comment on some people's taunts. I fear she's planning something...

Lyra Kumatora wrote:
Erin was on one time since I sent my initial letter, but did nothing, not even comment on some people's taunts. I fear she's planning something...

I think so too. And I have a feeling it's going to be really bad. Maybe even worse than Edward's Secret.

I'm almost positive that at some point she's going to attempt to turn Brian/Hugo un-canon by hooking Hugo up with some random chick that she throws in, thus "proving" that he's not gay. Assuming that this all happens in an Edward's Secret-esque way, (with much exposition on why being gay is bad) I think I might just explode. Or I'll use my rage as fuel to write BrUgo fanfic. It could go either way.

^I was under the impression she was going to kill off both, or at least Brian.

*sniff* What a tragic romance... There's your forbidden love, Erin. Joan and Ward can kiss my-

...Uh... I dunno. I avoid cursing unless I'm really ticked or depressed.

I figure she'll kill Brian and then marry Hugo off to a woman to prove he's straight. =/ It's her MO, to use plot devices rather than actual characterization, and considering how homophobic she is I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate.

The good news is that she sucks at sticking to storylines, so there's a chance she'll get bored with the "kill Jenny and Brian!" one and will switch to something else before killing them. Either way, I've been honing my ability to deny canon for years, so I'm sure I can be in denial if she pulls anything horrible, too.

^See the pairing listed in my sig? Two characters who haven't met, are eons apart on the timeline, and one only appears twice in her game.

I think I can ignore something like death and marriage for B x H, especially since it actually is a fan preferred couple.

Also, love your slogan PuzzleChick.

EDIT: I love how some of the DA folk think they are so high and mighty because they are leaving a single comment on Erin's page and then leaving it for eternity because ZOMG SHE IS OBVIOUSLY FAKE.
1. Do they want a freaking medal for it? Someone to kiss the ground they walk?
2. Normally, this would be an obvious fake, but would a fake keep this going this long?
3. Even if she isn't a real person, her anitisemitic, homophobic, and anything else offensive about her attitude is wrong.

PuzzleChick wrote:I figure she'll kill Brian and then marry Hugo off to a woman to prove he's straight. =/ It's her MO, to use plot devices rather than actual characterization, and considering how homophobic she is I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate.

The good news is that she sucks at sticking to storylines, so there's a chance she'll get bored with the "kill Jenny and Brian!" one and will switch to something else before killing them. Either way, I've been honing my ability to deny canon for years, so I'm sure I can be in denial if she pulls anything horrible, too.

If she kills of Brian I am going with the "he will be alive in another universe and he will find new universe Hugo" idea. I doubt she will stick to the idea though because she had dropped so many plot lines. In fact it is to our favor if she vanished for a month and returned because she never reads her own work and will forget where she left off.

Try as she might, she will never kill the true essence that is Brugo. If you don't remove the roots, it will flourish again, in time.

Lyra Just Lyra wrote:^See the pairing listed in my sig? Two characters who haven't met, are eons apart on the timeline, and one only appears twice in her game.

I think I can ignore something like death and marriage for B x H, especially since it actually is a fan preferred couple.

Also, love your slogan PuzzleChick.

EDIT: I love how some of the DA folk think they are so high and mighty because they are leaving a single comment on Erin's page and then leaving it for eternity because ZOMG SHE IS OBVIOUSLY FAKE.
1. Do they want a freaking medal for it? Someone to kiss the ground they walk?
2. Normally, this would be an obvious fake, but would a fake keep this going this long?
3. Even if she isn't a real person, her anitisemitic, homophobic, and anything else offensive about her attitude is wrong.

What royally pisses me off is that she has BLATANT HATE SPEECH IN HER prancing STORIES AND DA SAYS WE'RE FULL OF carp WHEN WE REPORT IT!

^I've seen many hateful things on DA, sadly. I guess it's freedom of speech, not that it's right.

Troll, serious, or otherwise, it's wrong to display blantant hatred toward any particular group. Heck, the fact that the stories in which SHE KILLS ACTUAL PEOPLE (you guys) didn't get her in trouble worries me.

On DA, most of the rage is toward the innocent. When I was having problems viewing messages, I posted a topic asking for help, and most of the responses I got were, "SHUT UP N00B! REED DA HELP TOPEEKS! WUT MAEKS U TINK WE NO N-E BETTAH DEN U!" I actually cussed in my topic on that here- and I NEVER cuss. Ever.

There are nice, respectful people there, though.

@ Lyra: I can ignore it and spin an AU in my head where he doesn't get killed, (My powers of denial are quite good, I've almost got myself convinced that Yugioh ep 224/chapter 343 never happened, except when I wrote angst fic.) but I'd rather not have to deal with such a blatantly offensive chapter. >.< Well, all her chapters are blatantly offensive, but this would be on the level of Edward's Secret and my brain isn't ready to be broke a second time.

Here's a few more tropes:
Ambiguously Brown: Or should I say "Ambiguously Black"? After Erin's "artistic" (sarcasm) depiction of her friend Becca, it's REALLY hard to tell exactly what ISA she suppose to be

Awesome Mc Cool Name: "Halohead", nuff said.

Catch Phrase: Sinnah, Sex-ah

Fan Disservice: Edward's Secret, ANY time Erin tries an "almost" sexy scene with Edward
"He turned around and had unbuttoned the front of his shirt. He lay bare to me lik a cream pasty of manliness, so delous and loving. His abnobnimals were twitching in angxiety, as were his large manly peckers." (So bad it's horrible)

Fate Worse Than Death: Seeing as people can be revived anytime (death is cheap), Erin's "punishments" is usually being sent to hell

Love Dodecahedron: This is a really confusing romance so let's break it down
*Erin is being pulled on by both Jacob and Edward... and also had an interest in Brian and now flirting with the Volturi
* Jenny was first in love with Jasper, then it became Emmet, and she also likes Jacob
>Erin claims Jenny also loves Edward, but that was only a dream and in reality has absolutely no interest
*Becca loves Jasper
Now try to put it all together (beyond impossible)... Oh, and it's suppose to be TAKEN SERIOUSLY (wallbanger)

Nightmare Fuel: "THE BAD DEVIL WORSHIPING VAMPIRES HAD JAY AND THEY WERE TOUCHING HIM!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11" (unfortunate implications)

Friendly Target: This happens to Jenny TWICE
*Becca after Erin makes fun of her lips

Asspull: Way too many to count
*The Cullens being "Christian Vampires" is probably the biggest one
>And is lampshaded by Phoenix big time

Bishonen: Edward to Erin
*Although not as much to the hatedom due to the already established canon making him into a (yourmilagemayvary) complete creep (moraleventhorizon), and it only gets worse when Erin's writing about him (rougeanglesofsatin)

Boring Invincible Hero: Edward Cullen
*I guess Erin counts for this trope as well, seeing as she ALWAYS gets what she wants; is never punished for doing unheroic things; and never seems to get hurt... however, she does NOTHING heroic and in every case, acts more like a Complete Monster rather than a hero (whatthehellhero)

Complete Monster: Erin, just Erin. There's NOTHING redeemable about her, she's over 9000 times worse than Bella Swan

Heterosexual Life Partners: Erin and Jenny

Big No: Erin loves to abuse the exclamation marks to try and make the story interesting

I took my own stab at a review. It's more constructive than flame as, no matter how terrible of a writer she is, I don't flame. Whether she listens or not, I still had to throw in my two cents.

So here's what I wrote:

You seem to be confusing constructive criticism for flames. A lot of these comments are just suggesting spell check, which would help you quite a bit, and would help readers be able to read what you write. You could also ask people to beta read your chapters.

Now, besides the disturbing attacks on non-christian religions and homosexuality, and the vain way "Joan" presents herself in chapters, there are several other things here that would bother most readers.

The way you respond to people who give you reviews you don't like, because they aren't complimenting you, is a bit unsettling. You're excessively swearing, which doesn't help your claims of being a good christian, and basically telling people to go to Hell. Which isn't really following the "Love Thy Neighbor" rule. You are also calling anyone who gives a bad review a devil worshiper or sinner. This kind of makes you out to be a self-centered nut, no offense.

Also, killing people in your stories, just because they gave you what you call "flames" also breaks the "Thou Shall Not Kill" rule.

Instead of taking these comments as flames, maybe you should take them to heart and learn from them.

Now, I'm not telling you that you can't show your love for god in your stories. I'm not asking you to like non-christian religions or homosexuality. But I am asking you to be a little less judgmental and more considerate of them. And maybe tone the religious aspect down just a little bit.

Another suggestion for your story is to try to plan things out more. You seem to be jumping all over the place in your plot, and I've noticed many instances of changes in your characters' names as well as the father's job.

You may want to use different plot devises. Maybe try to develop your characters as you write. I haven't really noticed much character development since the first chapter.

Please think of this as advice and not a flame. Because it is advice. Please consider what I have wrote. You'll get a lot less flamers.

Please think about this. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Remember love and peace.

I'm not sure how I did. I don't take many shots at constructive comments, but then again, I've never seen someone who was as bad as this.

Unknown date, unknown location.

It's strangely serene, this isolation. I've given up hope of the others coming back for me, so I've just been doing my best to survive. Likely, it won't happen for long.

I hope the others are faring better than I, though. It was a long series of events that brought us here...hah. Listen to me, talking like someone may find this journal one day. Well, if anyone does. I'm fairly sure the year is 2010.

I can hear the winds picking up again. I can't help but wonder how much longer my shelter will last. And to think, all this over--

?: Not to burst your bubble or anything, but what the tango are you doing with all the pillows, couch cushions, and your comforter?

E57: Umm...nothing. Why don't you introduce yourself to the audience. -Starts grumbling about ruined tension-

?: Sure. I'm--wait. Why the hell are you putting a question mark over my name?

E57: Just introduce yourself so I can start putting your name again.

?: But they've already--fine. I'm Jennifer O'Connell. Call me Jen. I was uh...recruited to make fun of this crap.

E57: And as always, I am Echo Five Seven. Let's get to it.

37– No [Jen: From what you've told me about her spelling skills, even this is amazing.] [E57: Oh, she's gotten two-letter words wrong before. It's just tougher, even for her.]
Erin: STOP MARKING MY CHARROTERS GAY!!11 [Jen: I must've missed something.] [E57: Oh, that's just how the subtext with her Mary Sue's father and this one guy named Brian came out.] THEY R NOT GAY, U R. [Jen: Why yes. Yes, I am. What're you gonna do?] [E57: And I'm not. And she'll probably proclaim that you're bound for hell.] [Jen: So what else is new.] GO AWEY AND STOP FLEMMING MY STORI. [E57: Now I can't unsee that being Satori. Damnit Erin, get off my Touhou.]

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o [E57: OH NO, THE-- ...] [Jen: The what?] [E57: I...forgot the inside jokes around this one. -Hangs head in shame-]

NOOOOO, wardy was leafing me [Jen: Leaves make good camouflage. What's she complaining about?] [E57: The world has to see her beauty, Jen. Get with the program here.] [Jen: I think I could've deep fried a turkey with all that sarcasm. I can see where I get mine from.] [E57: Cleverly done, Jen. Use a sarcastic comment to lampshade other sarcasm.] [Jen: Of course.] for another gril [E57: Is it a George Foreman grill?] and it WAS JENNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Jen: -SPITTAKE- WHY--oh. Different one.] [E57: I thought I told you about that.]
I wok up creaming [Jen: Did she do that on purpose?] [E57: At this point, it's extremely difficult to tell. Practically every single instance of "scream" omits the s.] [Jen: Should I get some holy water?] [E57: Can't hurt.] becos of the drem. I new ward woodnt leaf me for Jenny becos I am hoter than Jenny anyway. [Jen: And I thought I could be a Stephenie Meyer. Wasn't Jenny her best friend?] I got out of bed and wen to the barthroom to get cleen [E57: Good lord, she really did have a wet dream.] [Jen: Urgh.] and not think abot Ward leafing me.

OoooooOOOoooO [Jen: -Generic ghost noises- OooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!]

I weny to scool [Jen: It's not working out very well for you.] and ward was ther in him car. I went over to him and he lacked sad.lc.

Wgats rong? I asked concerndly. [E57: Lack of quotations, making up adverbs. Yup, that's our Erin.]

Nothing, He said anger and brewdinglu. [E57: By the way, Puzzle. If we ever meet, the first words out of my mouth will be "ANGER AND BREWDINGLU".] I dint like it.

Look Erin, we nead to talk abot things." Ward sad growly. [Jen: Which is code for "carp's about to get nasty. Sit down." This'll be good.]

What do yu meen sexah?" [E57: -Gurgle, frothing at the mouth-] [Jen: Uh...can we get a rabies shot over here?] I assed [E57: -Snort-] [Jen: Oh, you're okay. Nevermind about that rabies shot.] and flucked my eyes sexahly at his diection.

JOAN I DOT LOV YOU ANYMORE!! He cvreamed at me and then he ran sexahly away.





[Jen: Okay, if you post another macro, I'ma smack you.] [E57: Stop ruining the moment. This is astronomical amounts of win right here.] [Jen: Ten bucks says he takes her back next chapter.] [E57: ...FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF]

[Jen: -Smack-] [E57: ...Ow.] [Jen: I said I would.]

I feel to the grond and cried rivers of water from my eye. [Jen: I see you going for that "Cry some more" Heavy Weapons Guy macro. Don't.] [E57: I will use pictures again eventually.] WHY DINT HE LOVE ME ANYMORE??? [Edward: Would you like a list?] [E57: For the first time ever, you may actually be welcome here. ...Okay, get out.]

And then Jenny cam and raped [Jen: -Another spittake-] [E57: She can't seem to spell "wrapped", either.] her arm arounf my chess. [E57: Either Joan's trying to appear intellectual by having a chess set, or Jenny's giving off some Les Yay subtext here. I vote the latter.]

Whats wron joan? She assed [Jen: I take it she can't spell "asked" either?] [E57: Nope.] best friendly like. [Jen: Poor Jenny. Erin/Joan disses her, and she's still a best friend. I'm a Stephenie Meyer, but that just pisses me off.]

WARDS LEAFT ME [E57: Which was epic win.] I slopped at her fase with my hard. [E57: ...wat.] [Jen: wat] [E57: But...that was just a prancing dream. What are you slapping her for?]

Jenny looked hut but I think she understool. [Jen: My God, we need to get that poor girl away from her. She just...takes the abuse.] I dint care but because i no she wanted to steel ward away form me anywy. [E57: That. Was. A DREAM.]

O0o0o0o

I ran home a cired all the way. I ran to me rom and slemmed the door so my alcoholic dad coudnt com in an lectur me. [E57: Piss off, he only had a few beers that one time you didn't come home. That man cares more about you that you could ever deserve. It's tragic, really. He works his fingers to the bone for you, barely even leaving any time to spend with Brian anymore. And you throw it in his face.] He was at worek anyway, he was a lawyer so he wood bew home late. [Jen: Drunken Lawyer? That must be an epic court.] [E57: Chances are he just has a few drinks to unwind, she sees it and goes "ALCOHOLIC".] (ERIN: JOANS DAD IS NOY GAY WITH BRAIN!!!!! [E57: Oh yes he is. I'm not a fan of Ho Yay and I agree with the Brugo shippers.] JUST BECOASE YOR AN ALCOHLIC DOSENT MAKE U GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) [Jen: Someone's missing the point.] [E57: Oh hush, Ms. Pass Out On My Brother's Girlfriend's--] [Jen: DON'T remind me about that.]


I on my bed and smashed into the pillow. I was so anger that I coud kull Ward but that was aganst the Lords teechings. [E57: About time you realized something remotely close to an actual tenant of Christianity.] Then I loked on the foor and ther was a card. Then I had an idea, the VOLTIRE COUD HALP ME!!! AND THEY COLD KULL BRIAN [Jen: So much for that.] [E57: I should've expected that.] SO THAT SINNARS WOOD STOP MAKING MY CHARROTERS GAYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 [E57: What sinnars? Who are you referring to, Joan? Tell me, I must know. It couldn't possibly be the people on the other side of the prancing Fourth Wall, could it? Or have you just prancing given up the charade and admitted, finally, that you are just Erin with a fuckugly amount of makeup and a skanky prancing wardrobe that makes you look like a prancing Paris Hilton?] [Jen: Holy carp, calm down.] [E57: Okay, I'm good. I just had to let loose there.]

I got dressed in leether boots and blak stookings with a shiny blue miniskirt and a sexah army pint tanktop witch made my boobs lok hawt and big so Ward would be jeelous for dumping me! [Jen: I agree with you on how she dresses like a Paris Hilton, though.]
I then culled becca [Jen: Oh crap, another friend for her to abuse?] [E57: I think so.] and assed if she wanned to cum to the voltares [E57: Wait, what? The Volturi? Voltaire?] with me. She said she woold but she had to do sume maury stuff frist. [Jen: As much as I hate to call it, that sounds racist somehow.] [E57: Par for the prancing course.] I drove my car.

Becca and me were in the car and we were both amnger [E57: Why would Becca be angry? You've explained nothing to her.] at Jenny for being am UN CHRISTINA BLACKSTABBING Stephenie Meyer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111. [Jen: Wait, what? You have a dream about Edward leaving you for Jenny, then Edward just happens to leave you that day, and now you assume she's after Edward's penis?] [E57: Welcome to Insane Troll Erin Logic.] I decieded Becca coold be my best gfrind insteed. [Jen: Just like that? Well, your "best friend" isn't a best friend at all. That's not something you just decide.]

We stoped the car ouitside ther valtoures house [E57: Weren't they, you know, in prancing Italy?!] [Jen: Hey, I don't see a problem with letting her try to drive there.] and we went inside. The valtourie were siting there wathing us. [E57: Clearly the Volturi spend their time waiting for visitors to their supposedly secret hideout.]

(JOAN: I don like the valtorys names becase they are old and uglah so I gave them hawt names.) [E57: tango you, the names are awesome and dignified.]
Nickalas [Jen: Not dignified anymore. Wow.] got up and he had hawt hair wictch lookd lik gold and was wering designer jeens. [E57: MEIN GOTT IT'S FACE THE STRANGE ALL OVER AGAIN.] I coold see becca starring at him, but the volturies were all marred [Jen: They're married? How do you know that?] so she couldt have him. All the other valturies were hawt to and wereing designer cloths escept for Ralph how was old and uglah (Enir: RALPH IS AN UGLAH NAME OK SO THATS WHY HES NAMED RALPH!!)


Ralph Fiennes
[E57: Yes, Ralph is clearly a name you'd only find given to ugly people.] [Jen: Clearly.]

"WAT DO YU WANT JOAN?" [E57: They know her name already? Well, she has crossed paths with them before, so I'll give her that.] nickalas assed in a boaming roaring voiuce.

"I want you to mak Edward my husband and kull brian [E57: Hah. Haha. HAHAHA. Let them try to kill Brian. NO VAMPIRE IS SAFE FROM BRIAN prancing HAHNEL. He shall burn their mongrel hides!] [Jen: I'm gonna be in the next room, kay?] and jenny." [Jen: Oh, tango no. What the hell did Jenny do to deserve death? Be in your dream? What is this, Salem?] I aked sexahly why flucking my eyelids seductivately. I was so gald that we had wore hawt clorhs. [E57: But you just said they're married. What does it matter?] Becca was woring an off the shalder green top and tight jeans and high heals.

The valtore were thinking when ALICE FLU [E57: FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-- THE ALICE FLU. IT'S LIKE SWINE FLU, AIDS, SARS, AND RABIES ROLLED INTO ONE.] INTO THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Wuit does alice3 [E57: Oh God, clones.] want. Find out in the next exsighting [E57: Exciting in the airliner crash sort of way.] chaper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111 NO SINNARS ALLUWED TO READ IT OK. [E57: TOO prancing BAD. WE'LL READ IT AND WE'LL SNARK IT.] BECOISE THEY DON'T FALLOW THE LORDS WEIGHTS AND HIS TEECHINGS [Jen: I know I'm a hypocrite and I'm doing a better job of being a Christian than you.] AND THEY AR TYING TO BRING THE DEVAL INTO MY LIF!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111 [E57: You're doing that one on your own, Erin dear.]

Jen: So that's it? Thank God. One of us was about to go on a murderous rampage.

E57: There's still Edwards Secert.

Jen: Which I am not doing. Sorry, spending time with Shiori is more important than raging at some hoebag.

E57: S'alright, I've already got a wingman picked out. Anyway, until next time folks. Echo Five Seven, out.





Cuddles: Crap oh crap oh crap oh crap I'm late I'm late I'm late--well carp, I missed the whole thing. -Looks towards the audience- ...What do you people want, a tapdance? Here, have a YouTube link for some music instead. Maybe it'll balance out the suck or something. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a squirrel.


Backup link in case the embed doesn't work. (Click Me!)

xDDD Nice one Halohead, I rather enjoyed the macro stream. xD Oh, and thanks for the "anger and brewdinglu" warning. This will give me time to think of a polite response that doesn't include awkward silence.

In that instance, even just a laugh would be an appropriate response.

Have a thing for Ralph Fiennes there E57?

No idea who Ralph Fiennes is, but he's smexy IMO >.>

On a totally unrelated note: http://hc-iiix.deviantart.com/#/d2v8fhw <--MY NEW KITTEH!

SkeksisTroper wrote:Have a thing for Ralph Fiennes there E57?

If you consider "Googling 'Ralph', finding Fiennes, and thinking he goes against the 'ugly person' mold thing Erin has" as having a thing for him. Honestly, I have no idea who he even is.

DhampirCarmilla wrote:No idea who Ralph Fiennes is, but he's smexy IMO >.>

On a totally unrelated note: http://hc-iiix.deviantart.com/#/d2v8fhw <--MY NEW KITTEH!

::Stares at her.:: You DO know that's Lord Voldemort right there... right?

SkeksisTroper wrote:

DhampirCarmilla wrote:No idea who Ralph Fiennes is, but he's smexy IMO >.>

On a totally unrelated note: http://hc-iiix.deviantart.com/#/d2v8fhw <--MY NEW KITTEH!

::Stares at her.:: You DO know that's Lord Voldemort right there... right?

So THAT's his name....oh well *shrug*