CHAGRIN -- A Bella/Edward parody

[estora]

Summary: I'M DANGEROUS, BELLA!

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Author’s Notes: Just a little something I came up with. I thought it was funny, but I’ll let you guys decide that.


CHAGRIN


“Edward!” I cried in the purest, utmost chagrin.

“Oh, Bella!” Edward replied, his incandescent, perfect, god-like sculptured chest heaving in chagrin.

“Oh, Edward,” I muttered in chagrin as his lavender, marble, cold, perfect lips descended on mine, supply kissing me.

“Bella,” he murmured in chagrin.

“Edward,” I chagrined.

“...Bella, my sweet...”

“...Oh, Edward...”

“Bella...”

“Edward...”

“Bella...”

“Edward...”

“Bella...I love you...”

“Edward...I love you too...I shall simply die without you...”

“Oh, Bella, my love...I love you too much, my life, my reason, my breath, my everything...”

Suddenly, much to my chagrin, he drew back, his coal-black eyes flashing with chagrin. “I’m dangerous, Bella!”

My chagrined eyes glistened with unshed tears of chagrin. “I don’t care!” I cried in chagrin. “I love you!”

His eyes softened and his perfect lips curved into that perfect crooked chagrined smile that he always smiled to make me swoon in chagrin. Oh, goodness – was I going to faint in chagrin? “Oh, Bella...” he chuckled with chagrin. “Why must you be such a silly girl?”

“Oh, Edward, I'm sorry...please forgive me.” I didn’t deserve him; he was too perfect for me. In heart-wrenching chagrin, I turned away to stop him from seeing the tears of chagrin in my chagrined eyes.

He turned my face back towards him with a velvet movement of chagrin. “Oh, Bella, my love, there is nothing to forgive!”

“But there is!” I cried in chagrin. “Oh, Edward, can’t you see that I simply don’t deserve you?”

“Oh, Bella, you silly girl. I love you!”

“I love you too!” I chagrined.

“Oh, Bella...” my perfect Adonis chagrined.

“Oh, Edward...” I chagrined.

“Bella...” he chagrined.

“Edward...” I chagrined.

“Bella...” he chagrined.

“Edward...” I chagrined.

“Bella...” he chagrined.

“Edward...” I chagrined.

“Bella...” he chagrined.

“Edward...” I chagrined.

“Bella...” he chagrined.

“Edward...” I chagrined.

“Bella...” he chagrined.

“Edward...” I chagrined.

“Bella...” he chagrined.

“Edward...” I chagrined.

“Bella...” he chagrined.

“Edward...” I chagrined.

“Bella, I love you.”

“Oh, Edward, I love you t–”

“I’M DANGEROUS, BELLA!”

[Ringolevio]

That, my friend, was epic WIN!

(First reply, ha!)

[Person]

Are you sure that's not a lost passage from the book? It sure sounds like it.

So, I agree with Ringolevio: that WAS epic win.
Nice summary, too. Pretty much sums up the whole series.

[Belphegor23]

Oh, the laughter, it just keeps coming!

[Yanagi_Kotaro]

This is simply hilarious! I've got to show my friends...now, where are they?

[Lysander]

This was win. So much win.

[Ultimatum]

Are you sure this is not the actual book summary?

You rock! *gives internet*